17th
Excerpt: My Utopia
I stepped out into the bleak existence of the city with a caste iron stare and a beaming glow of hopelessness that arose from the flood of toxins and chemicals spread upon my brain. The heat tapping at the forehead like a viscous greeting from a friendly executioner. The steam, flowing upward slowly form the satanic bowels of the new york underworld, spitting at the eyes like venomous serpents eating at the internal flesh of reason. When it stung my nostrils, the sweat began to pour ions through my mouth, dry and tepid, a river of sand,the Sahara in one gulp. I knew that to continue, I must accept the unacceptable reality of the night to come.
The train station stretched out in long tubular tunnels of desolate enchantment, a poor man’s river of loathing. A biblical silence gathered and collected upon its empty corners and forbidden entrances. The metallic serpentine creature appeared suddenly from its lair and fiercely penetrated the hollow stretch of tunnel, pouring its rearing headlights upon the few standing around, nonchalantly anticipating its arrival like obedient slaves waiting to be guided into the sacrificial alter. Breaking the silence, the monster screeched to a stop and doors swung open releasing the cool breath of the dragon along with the murmur of a loud inaudible language pouring out of amplified madness. I stepped in to join the collected insanity. One more lamb to the slaughter, one more bulk a flesh added to the assembly line of corpses.
New York had gradually ceased being a city and at some point, had become an immense warehouse for people. A gargantuan office space with rows of file cabinets filled with drawers of huddled masses and collections of flesh that gathered like piss upon puddle water. The rows of bodies lingered before me like luminous algae festered amongst the stone of darkness. Intoxicated and debauched, each life passed me by, oblivious to the existing sting of reality, praying and holding out their inauspicious offerings to the God forgiveness and forgetting. The flushing out of sins by the toxic wave of reason embedded upon the tonic of instant mirth, the magic herb of release, or any variety of fortifying pills or powders. Each face rolling by me with a plastered smile. “Poor Bastards”, off they go into the night to be placed upon the altar of loathing and slaughtered by the collective divide.
I could feel only a distant sense of sorrow for my fellow man, but don’t dwell there too long, otherwise it begins to sting a hole in your head and in this realm of madness, the last thing you need a soft spot upon the extremities.
Looking up at the corner, I could read in my blurred vision the a semblance of language spelling out Bleecker. I knew my head had finally arrived although it seemed my body had been there for hours. The scenery began to change as I stood there waiting. Girls strolled by with limbs exposed, garments of flowing materials in extravagant colors and patterns that invoked the sudden sting of sex and gripped me in the sudden feminine grasp of desire. Legs, arms, breasts, asses and lips paraded by. Eyes meeting suddenly, glimpses of acknowledgment and a distant hints of fornication. The white and tan skins flashed by and gleamed in the New York night like diamonds upon the dark ocean of desire.
It was hot and I was sweating. Crystals pouring down my back. The heat began to roll up towards my temples and compress my head inwards. It was getting harder to think. The current had finally began to take its toll and I began to let go and dive in to the flowing river of madness that surrounded me like a looming tempest. Here I was, tied to the stake, and the flames were approaching. No escape now, no where to seek refuge, no trench in which to hide. I was already exhausted. Then I heard the voice behind me and turning to look, caught the glimpse of two enormous blue eyes. “well, where have you been hiding…”
I responded suddenly, but it seemed delayed “hiding?, I’m out in the open baby, no need to hide..” What’s your name?
she looked at me with a devilish smile while holding out two small colorful pills in her hand.
“Forget that shit now… pick a poison”…
I looked at the remainder of her face and then trailed down the impressive limbs of her body. I was suddenly overtaken by a wolf like hunger for flesh. The massive wave of desire suddenly crashed upon my internal wall of longing. A sexual tsunami erupted from within. I reached out and took a pill from her hand, gently placing it upon the tongue. The Eucharist had arrived. The night had finally begun.
